Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
