I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
