..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
