Welp...herpes.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
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If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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