I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
