dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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