She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
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Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
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We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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