Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
