I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize