Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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