If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
