is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
