I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
