Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
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