can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
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When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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