Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
