You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
