just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
