ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
