How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
