Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Rumble strips road head = magical
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
