so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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