We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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