Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
