you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
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Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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