He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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