Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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