Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
