Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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