I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
