The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
