So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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