i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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