I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
