dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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