I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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