Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
