FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
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Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
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Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize