I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
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I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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