dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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