is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
