The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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