Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
