Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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