apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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