It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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