No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
