you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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