there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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