I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
