so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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