I'm really into asian looking animals
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
