ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
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