Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me

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(802): View more from Vermont

i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin

Fav 14 1164 2395
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(301): View more from Maryland

people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.

Fav 30 5742 1801
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(847): View more from Illinois

I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.

Fav 11 4502 1557
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(952): View more from Minnesota

On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it

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(719): View more from Colorado

U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers

Fav 1 498 282
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(870): View more from Arkansas

I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.

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