RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
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Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
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I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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