it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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