Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
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I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
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When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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