It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
